here's some of the best memories and coolest photos of all time.

all my love, pris<3

things have been nice and slow these few days,
aside from the crazy training and million matches that we have.
i've been spending more time with the touch ruggers recently,
and i've also realised the secret to overcoming my bad hands. heh heh(:
onto other things, the gymmers have also finally managed (with much difficulty) to arrange a time to meet up before sarah leaves for australia.
light up II yesterday was pretty good, except that cheronne and i had a leisurely dinner before that and was terribly late.
but besides that,
its already december, and time passes all too quickly.


more rolling clouds,

i'm back.
its really different to go back a second time.

i was more prepared in every sense of the word for things we would face in the trip. at sisubhavan (one of the mother teresa homes for disabled and abandoned children) i knew exactly what to do with the kids and how to make myself useful. compared to my first time there, when i stood at one side feeling scared half the time. it didn't take as long for me to warm up to the kids this time, and i didn't leave feeling emotionally drained. it was really heartwarming to see Deepa, a little girl who's blind, grow up and progress. she can walk around the home herself now when two years ago all she did was cry and rock on her bed. i left the home last time feeling powerless. i felt that no matter how hard you tried to help the children there, they'll just go back to struggling with the same issues the next day, and still go through so much pain. but Deepa has evidently grown, and things do change thanks to the collective effort of the masis ('maids' who take care of the kids) and volunteers. so in this sense, i was really thankful to be back to see things as they really are. rather than my warped and hasty impression of things from two years ago. 

but going back a second time also meant that i was bored more quickly as well. besides spending time with the kids at hope home and sisubhavan, the rest of the trip is made up of large blocks of 'sian.' the schedule for the trip has not changed much since two years ago. we still went back to pizza hut for a lunch treat and shop at the same mall before heading to the air port. coupled with the stark strictness of the nanyang teachers compared to the way hp is run, the first day of the trip was one of the worst for the jc girls. 

but having said that, this doesn't mean that the trip turned out to be a total let down. i realised how jaded i've become and it took a while for me to reflect on things that are important again. it took a longer time to see beyond the more well-to-do hope home today and strict order and control of the nanyang teachers. two years later hope home no longer conducts lessons in a tent, but in a two storey building with classrooms and a computer lab. the children have nice new and westernised clothes and they still take singing, drums and violin lessons. but besides superficial changes, the children are still the same and it felt good to be back.

there were many times during the trip when the seniors discussed why we didn't just send the money over, including the air fare and all, and the workers over in india can probably do a better job building the sheltered  walkway. but i think at the end we realised that while the home needs financial support, going over to do service learning, more than anything, is learning rather than serving.   

it was so nice to hear a collective murmur of 'priscilla' when we first met the hope home kids again. joel is skinner, and naughtier. salomi is still as mature and confident. and there's this new boy, lum, from Naga Land, who calls me 'mama.' i think the greatest gift the children give to any visitor at hope home is the opportunity to laugh so freely again. the time spent with the kids is invaluable and it was well worth the two year wait. so there, this too a whole long chunk for me to say: i am glad i went back.

some of my favourite photos, although there are evidently too many, but bear with me because this is a personal note more than anything. 

there now i've got everything written down forever.
sorry for the million photos,
love pris.

kids get really excited over the smallest things, and then get disappointed after
over the years i've learnt to go in with no expectations so that you'd be blown away every time
now i find myself desperately wanting the calcutta trip to turn out well.
i hate putting my hopes so high.
the last trip was great and we've been waiting for two years for another chance to go back. 
now as we head for calcutta again, everything feels different.
this is most aptly called pre-trip jitters, which is hilarious, but a terrible feeling.



onto other things, the lovely dearie that smiles at the camera and never fails to put a smile on your face.
i realise i'm going to be relying on faith more than i expected in these two weeks and this holiday seems to be the start of many things that i need/ have lost during the year. 
i wonder how things will turn out.

there was once i thought that i really owed different people, and especially some, an apology.
and it was horrible to know so but not do anything about it. 
now i think that its okay, because this way is the only way things can stay.
i'd hate to admit so but its true.
i hope, i hope i wouldnt be more cynical than the ways of the world would allow.

but anyhowwwww,
i've missed the gymmers so much, and finally met them.
and there was fac outing too.
it was just okay.
schools out, and kolkata's coming really soon. 
i miss the kolkata kids so much too
but part of me just wants to hole up in singapore and enjoy till next year comes.
well, yeah its really one of those days.

- --

more another time
but there happy photos to rid all the 'its one of those days' vibes.
stay happy lovelies
prissss<3